So, another year is gone! Seems as you get older time is "fleeting"
and before you know it there's no time left for all those things you
always put on the backburner!
Instead of dwelling on the past and trying to predict what the future
holds for us, I've decided to leave the old year with the following
:
In the year 2004, The Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in
South Africa, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked
and
over-populated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another
Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to
build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and
40 nights".
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard..... but no ark.
"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where
is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed.
I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about
the need for sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I've violated
the neighbourhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board
for a decision.
Then South African Transport and Eskom demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power, trolley and other overhead
obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea.
I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the Giant Spotted Owl. I tried to convince
the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But
no go!
When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights
group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their
will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then Kort Broek of Environment Affairs ruled that I couldn't build
the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your
proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission
on how many previously disadvantaged individuals I'm supposed to hire
for my building crew.
Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have
to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.
To make matters worse, the Customs and Revenue via the Scorpions seized
all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally
with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me
to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You
mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
"No", said the Lord. "The South African Government
beat me to it!!!
