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   Weekly Joke
  3 December 2004

A Nigerian, a Mozambican and a South African are sitting in a South
African pub having a pint of beer. The Nigerian grabs his beer, downs
it, throws his glass into the air, draws a handgun and shoots the glass in mid-air. He grins at the other two, puts the gun down on the bar and
shouts: "In Nigeria we have so many glasses we never drink out of the
same glass twice."

The Mozambican then downs his beer, throws his glass into the air, grabs the gun off the bar, shoots the glass, puts the gun back on the bar and says: "Heela, in Mozambique we have so much sand which makes glass really cheap, so we too, never drink out of the same glass twice."

The South African finishes his beer, puts the glass down on the bar, picks up the gun, shoots both the Nigerian and Mozambican and says to the barman: "In South Africa we have so many Nigerians and Mozambicans that we never have to drink with the same ones twice."


Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man is an Engineer, the second man is an Accountant, the third man a Chemist, and the fourth a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "Tsquare, do your stuff." T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 250ml glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 240ml without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, "What can your cat do, if anything?" The Government Worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, crapped on the paper, humped the other three cats, then claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the week on sick leave.

(Thanks Sammy & Andrew)

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