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The Weekly update to life in post-apartheid South Africa.

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Weekly Joke
  02 June 2005

This week something different. Nothing to do with this country (in particular) but some "truths" to take with you wherever you go..

(1.) Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
(2.) A day without sunshine is like, night.
(3.) On the other hand, you have different fingers.
(4.) 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
(5.) 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
(6.) I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
(7.) Honk if you love peace and quiet.
(8.) Remember, half the people you know are below average.
(9.) He who laughs last thinks slowest.
(10.) Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
(11.) The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
(12.) I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
(13.) Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
(14.) Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
(15.) A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
(16.) Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
(17.) Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
(18.) Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
(19.) If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
(20.) How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
(21.) OK, so what's the speed of dark?
(22.) How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
(23.) When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
(24.) Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
(25.) What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
(26.) I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
(27.) I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
(28.) Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
(29.) Smile, it gives your mouth something to do.

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