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The Weekly update to life in post-apartheid South Africa.

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6 May 2007

Still not happy with the way players of different SA rugby teams are chosen, SARFU yesterday released the following set of new rules to be implemented as of January 2008:

1) The Cheetahs will choose at least 5 black players

2) The Sharks will choose at least 5 Indian players

3) The Bulls will choose at least 5 English-speaking players

4) The Lions will choose at least 5 Jewish players

5) And the Stormers will choose at least 5 rugby players!!!


Can we learn from nature?

Lastly this gem from an old friend -

Be sure and cancel your credit  cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past October,  and Absa billed her for November and December for their annual service  charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been R0.00, now is somewhere around  R500.00. A family member placed a call to Absa:

Family Member:  "I am calling to tell you that she died in October."

Absa: "The  account was never closed and the late fees and charges still  apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to  collections."

Absa: "Since it is two months past due, it already  has been.

Family Member: "So, what will they do when they find out  she is dead?"

Absa: "Either report her account to the frauds  division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family  Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Absa: "Excuse  me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the  part about her being dead?"

Absa: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my  supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the  phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in  October."

Absa: "The account was never closed and the late fees and  charges still apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect  from her estate?"

Absa: (Stammer) "Are you her  lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info  given)

Absa: "Could you fax us a certificate of  death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)  

After they get the fax:

Absa: "Our system  just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to  help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not,  you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Absa: "Well, the late fees and charges do still  apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing  address?"

Absa: "That might help."

Family Member:  "AvalonCemetery, Chiawelo, Plot Number B9075769."

Absa: "Sir,  that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: What do you do with dead people  on your planet?!"

Thanks Linda, Sammy & Venessa

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