These are actual interviews with local football players…, roll on 2010!
1) Bashin Mahlangu
Interviewer: Bashin how do you feel about scoring such a beautiful goal?
Mahlangu: I feel immediately!!!
2) Lesley Manyathela.
This was an interview to get to know more about the player after an extended period of rich form:
Interviewer: So Lesley tell us about your family
Manyathela: I have one KIDS. I also have two brothers: There is
one in front of me and one behind me.
3) Bhele Nomvete:
This interview took place after a game that took place on Bhele's birthday.
Interviewer: Firstly, Bhele we would just like to wish you a happy birthday.
Nomvete: Thank you, thank you, same to you
4) Steve Lekeolea
(a whole book can be written using amusing quotes from this player alone)
Interviewer: Steve you seem to have hit such a rich vein of form you also seem a lot fitter. What is your secret?
Lekoelea: In the morning I get up and I run away.
5) Steve Lekeolea
Interviewer: Steve you have just played an amazing game to help Pirates win, where to from here.
Lekoelea: I am going home.
6) Jabu Pule
Interviewer: Jabu, who do you think will host the 2010 soccer bid?
Jabu: Marks Maponyane
7) Peter Ndlovu
Interviewer: Peter those were three beautiful babies you put away behind the net. How do you feel?
Peter: Aah I am so ashamed, I just don't like it when these woman tell the whole world.
After having their 11th child, a Brakpan couple decided that was
enough, as they could not afford a larger bed! So the husband went to
his doctor/veterinarian and told him that he and his wife/cousin
didn't want to have any more children...
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive (for people staying in
Brakpan paying more than R50 for anything other than booze, car
accessories or sound system is expesive).
A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a
cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Brakpan), light it, put it in a
beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10!
The man said to the doctor: "Ag, yunna, I may not be the cleverest oke
in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can,
next to my ear, is going to help me." "Trust me," said the doctor...
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb, and put it in a beer can. He
held the can up to his ear and began to count: "One, twooo, freee,
fooorrr, fiiiive," at which point he paused, placed the beer can
between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand!!!
This procedure also works in:
Germiston, Boksburg, Springs, Bronkhorstspruit, Primrose, Elspark,
Kempton Park West and Brits.
And lastly, with the Boks facing the Australians this weekend, here's a scoop from the latest Ozzie Playboy magazine :