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28 December 2007

Van has a Petrol station in Poffadder and was trying to increase his sales. So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local 'Dutchie' pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. Van told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex.

The 'Dutchie' guessed 8, and Van said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."

A week later, the same "dutchie' , along with his buddy Koos, and pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex. Van again asked him to guess the correct number. He guessed 2 this time.

Van said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the 'Dutchie' said to his buddy Koos, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Koos replied, " Nooooit, it's not rigged bru. My wife won twice last week."


A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.

He goes to German Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told :

first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.

Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.

Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day". 

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on.

He checks out the USA Hell as well as the Russian Hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.

Then he comes to the South African Hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?"

He is told:

 

  • first they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
  • Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour.
  • Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day". 

“But that is exactly the same as all the other hells. Why are there so many people waiting to get in?" he asks.  

  • "Because Eskom is struggling and is powerless, there is never any electricity, so the electric chair does not work.
  • The nails were paid for but never supplied, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on.
  • And, on top of that, the South African devil is a government employee, he wont come to work till he gets his 12% increase, which of course may never happen!

braai


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loot_nasleep

36-jarige Paul du Toit, 'n geheime agent in die Weermag tydens die laaste jare van wit oorheerste Suid Afrika, glo hy het sy gewelddadige lewe agtergelaat.

Thanks Glen, Linda .

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