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7 March 2008
An Afrikaner from Pretoria phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction.

"R85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied.
"Bliksem R85!!! Didn't you got anyfink cheaper?"
"That's the normal charge," said the dentist.

"What about if you jus didn't can like to use any anaesthetic?"
"That's unusual, sir, but I could do it and knock R15 off.
"What about if you jus use one of your dentist trainees and still wiffout an anaesthetic?"

"I can't guarantee their professionalism and it'll be painful. But the price could drop to R40".
"How about if you makes it a trainin' session, and one of your students can like to do the extraction wiff the other students watching and learning?"

"It'll be good for the students", mulled the dentist. "and it's going to be very traumatic, but I'll charge you R5."

"Now you talking broer! It's a deal," said the Afrikaner. "Can you confirm a appointment for my wife next Tuesday then?"
Tips on improving productivity....

Dakota Native American tribal wisdom, passed on from generation to generation, says:

"When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount and get a different horse."

However, in educative, corporate and governmental Southern Africa, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:

1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that the dead horse can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as 'living impaired'.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and / or training to increase dead horse's performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overheads and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.

And of course ...

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position!

If you understand the above, then you are obviously a South African.

Direct translation - Afrikaans to English (mp3 - 1.3MB)

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36-jarige Paul du Toit, 'n geheime agent in die Weermag tydens die laaste jare van wit oorheerste Suid Afrika, glo hy het sy gewelddadige lewe agtergelaat.

Thanks Sammy

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