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The Weekly update to life in post-apartheid South Africa.

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21 April 2008

Brakpan pick-up lines :

Your  pretty eyes is laaik spanners. …..  Evrie taaim I looks at you, my nuts taaiten
Did you fart, cause you blew me away!
Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.
My Love for you is like diarrhoea ... I can't hold it in.
Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.
Is there a mirror in your pants, because I can see myself in them.
If you and I were Squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Man - "Fat Penguin!"    Woman - "WHAT?"   Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

Employee :"Hello 'dis is Siphos'sbakery, how can I help you?"
Customer :"I would like to order a cake for a party this week, please."
Employee :"What you want written on d cake?"
:"Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that "We will miss you"....
:"OK is that all? Okay, come to collect in 3 days, mam."  

THREE DAYS LATER...............


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36-jarige Paul du Toit, 'n geheime agent in die Weermag tydens die laaste jare van wit oorheerste Suid Afrika, glo hy het sy gewelddadige lewe agtergelaat.


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