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   Weekly Joke

3 February 2010


An illiterate Zwane went to the bank and pointed a gun on the cashier aAnd said, 'Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!'

The cashier laughed and said, 'You mean to say HISTORY.'

Poor Zwane answered, 'Don't change the subject!'


Judge: 'Mr Gasa, tell me exactly what you want me to do for you?'

Gasa: 'Your honour, I want you to help me to get rid of this woman!'

Judge: 'On which grounds do you wish to divorce Mrs Gasa?'

Gasa: 'Sir, I don't care about the grounds, it can be Ellis Park, Kings Park or the FNB stadium, the only thing I know is that I don't want this Woman.


There was this Mopedi working in a farm One day, while busy with his work... The farmer came to him with a pair of binoculars and said to him, 'Look Through these and see how your friends are busy stealing my

When looking through the binoculars, he saw his friend stealing the sheep and he started to whisper, 'Matome! Matome! Chaba, lekgoa le a go Bona'! ( MATOME RUN, THE BOSS CAN SEE YOU)


A guy applies for a job at a new South African Government Department.
The interviewer asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"
"Yes!" the guy says, "...a landmine blew my testicles away!"
"O.K. You're hired!" the interviewer announces, "Working hours are from 8 till 5 o'clock. Make sure you're here by 10 every morning!"
Puzzled the guy says "8 till 5 , why do you want me to come in only at 10?"
"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "the first two hours we just sit around scratching our balls.......no point in you coming in for that...."

A South African Librarian

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian takes one look at him and says
" Voetsek, who's gonna bring it back?"

A Major Earthquake

A major earthquake, measuring 9.1 on the Richter scale hit Nigeria this morning. 350 000 Nigerians have died and over a million have been reported injured. The country is totally ruined and the government does not know where to start with providing help.
The rest of the world is in shock; Canada is sending troops to assist the country. Europe is sending food and money.
South Africa is sending 350 000 replacement Nigerians.

The Weakest Link

In response to the popularity of The Weakest Link, Kyknet will be launching an Afrikaans version. After many months of creative brainstorming, they have managed to come up with a catchy Afrikaans version of: "You are the weakest link - goodbye."
The producers have settled on what will surely become a popular phrase, applicable to many other situations too ........
"Jy's dof - f...of!''



Thanks Glen & Sam


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