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   Weekly Joke

23 January 2012

One day the teacher found Julius Malema in the library photocopying blank paper, so she asked him "what are you doing Julius?" he replied " I am making more paper".

A Department of Water Resources representative stops at a Free-State farm and talks with the old farmer. He tells the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation".
The farmer says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there". The government employee says, "Meneer, I have the full authority of the ANC Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Do you understand?"

The farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Shortly, thereafter hears loud screams and sees the government employee running for his life followed close behind by the farmer's bull, who's gaining with every step. He is clearly terrified, and is screaming for help, so the old farmer throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs..... "Jou kaart...., wys vir hom jou fokken kaart! "

Never question a drunk "bergie"

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected the following:
A litre milk
A carton eggs
A carton orange juice
A 250g pack of bacon
A head of lettuce
A can of coffee
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk bergie standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the Cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk bergie calmly stated: "JY'SS SHEKER SINGLE."

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my elections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk bergie replied, "WANT JY'S KAK LELIK."


 Thanks Nelly


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