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The Promised Land

Five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel:
Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.

Five thousand years later, Sam Shilowa of COSATU said:
Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, light a camel, this Is your Promised Land.

Now the ANC has stolen your shovel, kicked your asses, raised the price of camels and taken over the Promised land.
Heaven is when you have: a British salary, an American home, Chinese food, a German car and a South African wife.
Hell is when you have: An American car, a British wife, a Chinese home, German food and a South African salary.