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The Promised Land

Five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel:
Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land.

Five thousand years later, Sam Shilowa of COSATU said:
Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, light a camel, this Is your Promised Land.

Now the ANC has stolen your shovel, kicked your asses, raised the price of camels and taken over the Promised land.
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Heaven is when you have: a British salary, an American home, Chinese food, a German car and a South African wife.
Hell is when you have: An American car, a British wife, a Chinese home, German food and a South African salary.