A Nigerian, a Mozambican and a South African are sitting in a South African pub having a pint of beer.

The Nigerian grabs his beer, downs it, throws his glass into the air, draws a handgun and shoots the glass in mid-air. He grins at the other two, puts the gun down on the bar and shouts: "In Nigeria we have so many glasses we never drink out of the same glass twice."

The Mozambican then downs his beer, throws his glass into the air, grabs the gun off the bar, shoots the glass, puts the gun back on the bar and says: "Heela, in Mozambique we have so much sand which makes glass
really cheap, so we too, never drink out of the same glass twice."

The South African finishes his beer, puts the glass down on the bar, picks up the gun, shoots both the Nigerian and Mozambican and says to the barman: "In South Africa we have so many Nigerians and Mozambicans that we never have to drink with the same ones twice."

A man had two suite tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sat down another man came down and he asked if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. He replied "No, the seat is empty."
"This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the world cup final, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"
He said, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, my wife was supposed to come with me but she passed away. This is the first world Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that, that's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head. "No, they are all at her funeral."

Sounds like a South African rugby fan to me...

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